11 weeks!!

We are 11 weeks today. I guess my biggest thing to talk about today is that all I thought about was how unattached to this baby I am. Jon has been distant as well and it hurts. It's no ones fault but neither of us are half as attached as we were when I was first pregnant. I feel terrible because this baby should be loved and feel love from the beginning. I'm not saying I don't love this little life growing in me but I'm having a hard time with it. I know it's because I'm afraid to get attached and lose this baby too but it still is upsetting and isn't fair. I'm struggling. I'm hoping when we announce our pregnancy that I will be able to connect a little better with our baby and I am definitely trying but I don't know how or what exactly I should do. It's not easy to let go of the fear but it's also not easy to know that you feel this way and that your baby is in a sense just there. I broke down about this topic tonight with Jon and being the loving and supportive bus an he is was there to let me know that it's ok and that it's hard and it's understandable. I do want our baby to know how much it's loved and how excited we are for September even if we haven't really shown it.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed I can get to my blood work appt and hopefully be reassured that all is well and that I have nothing to worry about. Lord please give me the strength.