I have done nothing lately but eat as if I were pregnant and "feeding two". I'm gaining weight and my face is breaking out. I am miserable deep down and not sure what I can really do about it. I'm miserable because I'm gaining weight, I eat because I'm miserable.. It's just one vicious cycle...
I go to work and put on a happy face - I mean that's my job right? A stage performer in front of an audience. I can't let my kids see how I'm really feeling. I come home from work and I'm moody and annoyed at life. I just want to lay on the couch or go to sleep. I have no desire to go to the gym or work out even though I know that's what I need to do. I eat and eat some more until I feel better. Why does this have to be so tough? How long am I going to have to feel like this? It doesn't help that it's now daylight savings and it's dark longer and colder. I'm not a fan of winter unless we get delayed starts or early dismissals. One plus is that bulky sweaters can hide all the weight I gained...
I want to get away... Jon and I opted not to take a honeymoon since we really can't afford to spend a couple grand for a vacation and by the time I could even go it wouldn't feel like a honeymoon. All that really mattered to us was that we were married we dont really need a vacation although it would be nice. Of course if we did plan a trip for spring break or summer it's possible I could be pregnant and not able to take advantage of the "all-inclusive" aspect of the trip. But at this point I feel I need to get away. I need to escape for a while and be somewhere that puts me at ease and let's me relax. I wish we could just hit the lottery! I mean I'm already working 3 jobs..
I know that this gets easier and things will work out. I just hope all of that comes sooner rather then later..
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